My Story

 October 18, 2018 I hate him, "Val," I realized tonight because I wasted seven years of my life thinking and doing anything that makes me get his attention, but no day does he see me as a woman. He sees me as a dirty worm and always sticks to him. I can't understand my self why I have a crush on him. It's because of the gestures, that bullshit. Oh! Gosh, I hate myself for believing that he liked me because of that. Yes, I am stupid and horrible, crushing him even though he doesn't have the excellent quality of a man I want. Now, I really erase and forget him that he is part of my life, my pathetic life. Oh! God, please just give me the strength to ignore him because I don't dare to believe myself when it comes to him, you know, and myself that I can't forget him, but I want to just give me a situation that makes me hate him. I imagine he became my boyfriend or husband, so please just give me this. I know that you can do it, your God. This does not give him

 October 17, 2018 I am very productive this whole day since I am more energetic and happy at the same time. I don’t know why but I am glad. I really enjoyed reviewing it today. I think it is because it is simple and I am happy. I guess I had happy pills then because I didn’t know I spent much time answering questions. Its means that I am a bit ready to take Phisat and EPT. I hope so, but I know and believe that I can remember yesterday I told myself that I have to think to myself, even others, not to erase the negativity and always remember the positive sign. Today, I also enjoyed singing using the Go Sing app on my phone. I am a frustrated singer, but I believe practice makes perfect. I didn’t dream of becoming a singer; I just wanted to sing because I feel good singing and listening to music. I love singing old English songs, a song that has a beautiful meaning, like my theme song “Take me to your heart” by Michael to rock, I think I forget. Yes, it is funny, but it is true I have a

 Oct 16 “Attention” is a word that makes the person confident like I am today. I am lucky if there is someone who gives me attention even if I didn’t request it. Yes, I always get the attention of someone, but I don’t know why I have? Why do I get their attention? One of them is my first love, “SJK” I got his attention on the first day we met; at first, I was not attractive to him, but even all my friends are beautiful to him because he is handsome, tall, and fair. Since then, I still have a crush on “Val,” and he has been the only one I am attracted to for over 7 years. It stops when I always see “SJK’ and know him more. Yes, he is the ideal man of all girls, and I am one of them. When I am into “Val,” my friends say he has a crush on me because he is always curious about me and gets my attention every time we meet. I didn’t believe them because I knew it was impossible since he was handsome and I was ugly, but in a few days, I little believe it because he always got my attention and

 October 15 Today, I am proud of myself because I stop something that I do that makes me angry to myself. Now, I can already say to myself that I am now changing into someone that I can be proud of in the future. Yes, everyone also sees that I am changing, but I don't because I can see it to myself now. It's different because I now feel light and happy. I hope to continue it even though I know it is a little tricky because I am terrible at the temptation to do it. I have to remember that this is good and awful, and I can save time by doing important things to it. Like prioritizing my dreams over my wants, speaking of my goals this morning, I am apprehensive because I can concentrate on studying. I want to eat and watch dramas that learning, but I stop myself, so instead I take a nap so that I can focus after that, and it is effective because, after 2 hours of napping, I can concentrate on studying, and I feel that I am not learning but discovering something, I liked that feelin

 October 14, 2018 I can’t really remember what did happen today. I think it is like a typical day to me. Sunday moments, staying and relaxing in our house. Wait, I just remember it now. I return to my old self, being good and hoping that I can someday achieve what I imagined these past few days. I am more confident that I can do it because I think they can understand and support my dreams even though it is impossible for a young girl who doesn’t have English skills and confidence to talk to the public. I can do it; I have to because this is one I have a dream to become a successful lawyer.  I forgot I also checked the one I answered while I was in the hospital last week when my grandmother was hospitalized. I didn’t expect that I have many wrong answers since it is an elementary section, but I was wrong. Even in the beginning section, I decided to improve my grammar and answering skills. I have to admit and know my capability to improve it. I have more times to do it step by step. I pl

 Entry #1 October 13, 2018 This is my first day writing a journal or a summary of my day. If you are curious why I decided to become today, one of the reasons is I want to have something that reminds me every day that there is tomorrow comes after a hectic and stormy day. Also, I want to improve my writing. Since I became a student, I don’t have confidence in my writing, so this is my chance to improve it. I believe that “Practice makes perfect” is why I also do it. Back to the main reason my I am doing it. October 13, 2018, is a day that makes me realize that I want to become a writer, correcting a successful and professional writer that writes about her journey of becoming the successful woman she wants to achieve. That is why I am now trying to write my journal tonight. I hope to do it until I say I am halfway to becoming a writer. I remember that day also. I think my most busy day. After all, I didn’t have enough time to watch my Korean dramas list and answer some grammar questio